Every day I get stronger. Every night I cry. I’m numb most of the time. The road ahead of me is long but this time I won’t back down. This time I will reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
I dreamt about you last night and for a few seconds after I woke up I thought we were ok. I didn’t remember the events of the other night, nor did I feel sad or lost. But as I began to awaken reality hit me and hard. Drowning in sadness for a moment, I quickly pushed those feelings to the side. Immediately I found myself in a state of numbness. I felt nothing and I was ok.
I got to the courthouse an hour early today. The numbness fading immediately to an overwhelming urge of sadness I forgot to breathe. Once settled in the courtroom I became anxious but numb. Six hours I waited for your name to be called. As soon as I saw you, hands behind your back, I couldn’t contain my emotions. Shaking with fear and shock and sadness I sat, glued to my seat, awaiting…
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