I’m taking it day by day. And it’s hard. And it sucks. I know I made the right decision.
I am a victim of domestic violence. I have to tell myself that often. Why? Because I’m confused with all the different emotions I’m feeling. Sometimes I’m numb. To be honest, those are my favorite times. I feel nothing. Not happy. Not sad. Not overwhelmed. Nothing. And it’s bliss. But suddenly I will feel this overwhelming sadness and the tears just start pouring out of my eyes and I’m a complete mess. The monsterroams free and its claws rip me apart. Sometimes I start shaking, other times I’m screaming. I’m constantly praying. Praying for God to help me heal, help me deal with the sadness.
Sometimes I miss him and the tears begin again. I hold myself and try not to think about him.
That’s when I think I’m out of my mind. How could I possibly miss a man who’s done this to me over and over again?…
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