Which sentence is better?

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words. William Strunk

I think the best writers use the language they use every day when they talk to friends. When we talk to each other, we tend to talk in short grabs rather than in long flowing sentences. I think that’s not a bad way to write.
Morris Gleitzman

So, which sentence is better?

Sentence A

My pedigree cocker spaniel, Dusty, and I went hiking in the park this afternoon, but as soon as Dusty spotted a lavish pond of murky water, he dove right in and was covered with slimy, foul-smelling mud.

Sentence B

My dog, Dusty, dove in a pond and covered himself with foul-selling mud when we were hiking in the park.

We could discuss several posts on why Sentence B is better than Sentence A. You all picked B, right? Did anyone pick A? Really?

Longer is better for a few things in life, but never in writing.  Shorter is ALWAYS better when we write.

#dogs, #hyperbole, #intelligence, #mud, #sentences, #writing

Advertisements