Do not judge me

How does a person fake love another? I love is the beginning and the end, right? Yes sure maybe with your first love. I still love mine. But in a world of DMs and likes and so much accessibility, it’s so easy to confuse the like for love.

Last night I found myself declaring undying love for him, knowing very well I don’t love him. I tell him I love him because in another country, far away from me he can be anybody!!! I tell him I love him for my own selfish reasons. I want to hear the words echo back to me. I want to know that whoever I am picturing in my head at that time loves me too.

I do like him, yes but love:no. Selfishly though I continue this charade, I know when the time comes to meet I will lie and tell him I am sick or any other lie. To me he is that virtual stranger I want to keep as a virtual stranger. We spend half the day video calling n texting each other.

Is love the right word to use then? Probably not but I am selfish so it’s right for me.

As she says all of this, I look at her and weep for her soul. I know I should not judge but time is a precious gift. Instead of wasting it on someone she has no interest in, why not spend it on herself? Why not do yoga or climb a mountain or travel or better yet tell that first love of hers how she really feels?

I know I should not judge so I tell my good my friend; do you girl! Whatever makes you happy! Is that being a bad friend?

rachel

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