Seventh Heaven

I’m a little shy a first when you meet me but once you get in my comfort zone I will always be this seven year old girl dancing on the seat of our old sailboat. There I was listening to oldies, watching a yacht come closer with about seven people, so I start doing the twist as I waved for all of them to join my party. Low and behold, all of them did the twist too, waved and went on their way. And that’s my goal of life right there. What can I do to put smile’s on people’s faces and keep life’s joy going. I never want to hurt anyone, it makes me hurt more and I have no say into how far my mind will take it.

As a little girl who should have been self-conscious with my lime green spandex shorts and palm tree tank top. But I wasn’t at that age. I could treat everyone like my friend because it felt like they were. And I believe it’s still that way except for adulthood. Why is it that we as society will stop in our tracks to ooh and aah over a baby, or stand first in line to help out a young kid, but as age kicks in people become afraid so they begin to steer clear. And I mean afraid in the sense that people are too quick to compare themselves to one and other. No wonder everyone is on all of their technology/phones all the time. It gives them a chance to not worry about having to feel better about themselves because there’s no one “prettier” next to them for others to pay more attention to. Now, that makes me wonder about myself and others. To write online for all to see. Are we doing it for ourselves, or so the readers approve of what we say, decide we’re cool enough to hang out together, so they respond. That might be part of it other than greed. I didn’t realize how scared I am about being judged not just after my diagnosis but I realized,even before that. Is that something we all care about that much, even farther into adulthood? I mean we all get ideas of someone based on our first interaction with them so essentially we do judge to a certain extent. However, I really turned out to be one of those people that loves everyone I come across or can see something in, which is the majority of anyone I meet. And I’m one of those who’ll give chance after chance still seeing the best because that’s honestly what I believe people have in them. But then there’s the times where people take too much advantage of me, I literally start wearing my sunglasses at night to hide from the world.