If you don’t fit in their little box

“So you’re straight now then? LOL”

You know, I can pretty much guarantee, people wouldn’t have batted an eyelid had I married a woman. That may sound funny, but I have discovered something on my journey through this complicated thing we call life; if you don’t fit in their little box of small minded expectations then you’re obviously no longer welcome in their “wonderfully accepting” inner circle.

You see, to cut a really long story short, I discovered that I am bisexual. And that’s wonderful to them when you’re sleeping with or in a relationship with someone of the same sex. Dabbling in the “straighter side”of bisexual is only permitted in moderation and can certainly not result in marriage – having kids is ok but God forbid you’d spend the rest of your life with someone of the opposite sex! And if you happen to stumble into a long term relationship with someone of the opposite sex then of course you absolutely would not be able to stay faithful to that person. I mean, how could you possibly live without the “gayer side”of being bisexual?! But if I married a woman that would be immediately accepted and I would even get to keep the bisexual label, even though I absolutely would not feel the need to cheat on her with a man because apparently that only applies to the former situation.

My situation.

My husband and I have been together coming up 13 years, married for almost 8. And I can assure you I have not cheated on him with a woman or a man and I never would! But, yes, I do still class myself as bisexual, that doesn’t change because I’m married to a man. Just as it would not if I were married to a woman. It’s not a hard concept to grasp surely? I see my sexuality as kind of irrelevant now I’m married – I’m not sleeping with (or doing anything else with) anyone other than my husband. So I guess it shouldn’t bother me what people think or say. But it does. It’s the sheer ignorance from the very people that I imagined would understand my sexuality. But, it appears that for some, it’s a case of keeping up appearances.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been what you’d call a social butterfly. It’s not about my social life, it’s about people’s opinions and how cynical and judgmental they can be. The fact that the very notion that I could be happy and faithful in a relationship with a man seems to be something of a joke to them. Like, somehow that makes me a fraud. As if it wasn’t bad enough that I had to prove to certain people that I wasn’t using my husband “for his sperm and his money” I then had them bitching between themselves that I must be in denial. I would imagine the words “back in the closet” were being thrown around left, right and centre.

I feel I’m rambling a bit now. It’s difficult to put something like this into words because it’s hard to explain what it is I actually have a problem with. I guess it just bothers me when people form unnecessary opinions of me. It’s frustrating that people can be very closed minded, especially those who are perceived as being open minded and accepting of all matters of sexuality!

“So you’re straight now then? LOL”

“She’s just using him for his sperm and his money”

How about this; I am happily married to someone and we love each other very much 🙂

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