Can You See Me Here?

When the words come you have to be ready to drop any and everything and just let them out. I can’t keep the words inside me forever. They sit and stir and eat me alive. So here is what came to me today. In a moment. And through tears and broken breaths I sat and I wrote and I let it out.

Passionately Me

Can you see me here?
I am writhing from the pain of not having you near.
Breathless and shaking, succumbing to my fear.
I need you like I need air.
But you are not here…

Can you see me here?
I’m waiting and waiting for you to acknowledge me
praying and hoping that you see just a part of me.
How can you see me if you choose not to look?
Just open your eyes, I’m easy to read, like a book.
There’s pages to turn and chapters to burn,
are you looking now?

Can you see me here?
Wishing and hoping for only a kiss,
to help reminisce
all the time that we’ve missed.

Can you see me here?
I’m lying in bed twisted in sheets,
wanting to rub my fingers through your hair,
it’s making me weak.

This silence is killing me,
and you are not seeing me.
I’m a…

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You know what…?

I am stronger than I think.

Blind

i FEEL LIKE IM STUCK IN WRITERS BLOCK LATELY, BUT I FINALLY FINISHED THIS TODAY.

Passionately Me

Image result for soulmates anime

They no longer walked in harmony. He thought left, she went right. He looked up, she closed her eyes. One said yes, the other said no. It was as if within the span of a day they turned opposite ways. That happens in life, I guess. Sometimes people just grow apart. They no longer danced, their feet out of tune with the music of each other.

She thought of him at times, and he thought of her. They each remembered the good in each other, but what kept them apart was remembering the bad. They both knew the good outweighed the bad but it was like their anger towards each other made them blind. Blind to the fact that they still cared for each other, still had love for one another. Blind to all the ways they could make it work, only able to see all the ways it…

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Taking it Day by Day

I’m not as strong as I look, nor am I as weak as I think.

Passionately Me

I keep having minutes where I miss him. I know it’s a normal part of the steps to being a survivor of domestic violence, but I don’t like it. I get sad for a minute or two sometimes throughout the day, but I think I’ve discovered the way to get over that. I have to force myself to see him for who he really is. And whats worse, I have to accept it. I have to remind myself he is sick, and won’t get better. I have to tell myself that as a victim, none of that was my fault, it was his.

I keep going from moments of complete devastating weakness to moments of fierce strength. It’s a roller coaster ride and I desperately want to get off at the moments where I am strong. But I can’t. The healing process for a victim of…

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Why doesn’t he want me man?

A little thought on dead beat dads.

Life as a Single Mother

I’ve met a lot of people lately telling me they are a single parent. Come to find out, most of those people don’t know what a single parent is. Here’s my view.

Passionately Me

I was going to title this “Life as a Single Parent,” but I know nothing of what it’s like to be a single father. Truth is, all I know is what I’ve seen from the single mom’s around me and from what is now my life. Lets start by defining, in the best way I can, what a single mother or father is. Or better yet let’s say what it isn’t. A single parent is NOT a person who has kids and is not with their childrens father or mother. No. It’s much more than that. If you have children but are not actively in their life, or what have you– you are NOT a single parent. You are NOT a single parent if you have your kids every other weekend. No. That does not make you a single parent. You’re a parent sure, but you are not on your…

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Rainbows

Motherhood after loss..

Passionately Me

I’m not sure if I have broached the subject of rainbow babies before, or if I have really written about mine. You see Ariana, my beautiful daughter, is my rainbow baby. A rainbow baby is a baby born after a mother suffers a loss. Not long before I had Ariana I did just that.

raibow baby

I was unfortunately the only one who seemed happy about my pregnancy, but I didn’t care. I was so excited to be a mom. I was about eight weeks along when I woke up one morning sick. Obviously, feeling nauseous during pregnancy, especially during the first few months isn’t a warning sign. So what did I do? I went back to sleep.

I should have never closed my eyes.

A few hours later I awoke in so much pain. My lower abdomen and my back were throbbing every few minutes. I didn’t know what was wrong…

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